Shladminger STRIKE 4.

So, this was the 4th time I have screwed my race head on and ridden in a World Cup at Schladming, and for the 2nd time, this was the final round.For some reason, pracci started on the Thursday and race was on the Saturday which was as mixed up as fried eggs on a slice of carpet with a dollop of engine oil for breakfast, I mean, it's a world cup, it's not meant to be rushed!! Whatever the UCI say tho!
The course was AWESOME, it will always be one of my favourites, a true alpine course, fairly natural, steep and fast! It has an element of everything except rocks, but I think that is true to the terrain. It's flowey and smooth to ride, but towards the end of practice and into quali's the braking bumps were pretty vicious.












Much like Fort William, the breaking bumps and length of the course were the killer and drained your energy so quickly, those smart enough to sign up to the self preservation society did the best thing and rested, there wasn't much to learn......it was more a case of conserving energy!
True to form, I loved practice and nailed everything I set myself up for.
When Quali came around, I rode cautiously and fluffed up in places which I should have blasted through.











I finished 25th, miffed and questioning whether it is possible to race to this level and work and do everything else whilst maintaining any kind of level satisfying personal achievement is possible.....it is all to easy to spread oneself thin and become that ever so common, 'jack of all and master of none'. I have some training and thinking to be done over the winter........one thing I we all need to remember is....... FAT BURDS don't fly!!Fi Kicked off the after party in style scrounging not 1 but 2 kegs of beer from the local Schladminger brewery, we gathered in the troops for some pre party party beers and collected donations for our friend Tara Llanes! As always, everyone was super generous and dug down DEEP! Everyone was in the pits, kicking back for what seemed like hours after the race. Intense threw an awesome party for the riders with cranking beats and beer which took us upto about 11pm.













When we had to figure out a away infiltrate this crazy building where the party eventually moved too. For some reason, the club was incredibly hard to get into, the riders were like spiders, sneeking in through any open door, ducking and diving, bribing the bouncers, climbing in through the ceiling, you name it...but we all did it! The day after we had the most perfect hangover cure, schnitzel and strudel with ice cream followed by a 7km downhill off road go kart race............it kinda speaks for it's self hu!! The go karts were just awesome, beat up ragged ole things with crappy brakes! You could slam on the anchors and rail them round the corners......you needed goggles for sure as you kick up so many rocks when you braked!
On our last day, we all hung out at one of the coolest castles I have ever seen inbetween Schladming and Salzburg, the silliest thing is, I don't know what it was called, but it had an awesome falconary centre in it with the coolest collection of birds I have ever seen in one place...check it. The castle looked like sonething out of the Sound of Music, it had the coolest brickwork and surrounding fortress.

We headed to the airport, all ready for home, exhausted and craving a home comforts....cleared security, spent the last of the euros on chocolate and crappy flavoured water only to be told out flight had been cancelled.......dooom loomed! Thankfully we were in the safe hands of Mr super organised and super efficient B, who got onto it sharpish. Before we knew it, we were back in Salzburg in a comfy hotel waiting for another day in the land of the Sound of music and another bunch of traditionally laderhosen clad Austian chappies to slap our visuals senseless!!


Rhodeo Mart.

Whistles in Whistler and Nudes in Vancouver

When work sucks and you need to catch a glimpse of the fun side of you for a while...what do you do, JUMP ON THE FUN TRAIN!!

Thanks to B and his red carpet club status, we managed to land some last minute flights to sunny Vancouver. Actually, all credit to him he took the reins on the whole trip! I tend do take the 'manyana' approach to planning things which has never set me in bad stead.....but B for some reason struggles to relax on my slack programme (who knows why that is??! ;))! Before I knew it, we had somewhere to stay, a transfer and a flight......GAME ON.

We landed in Vancouver on the Tuesday afternoon and headed upto Whistler and Blackcombe. It was the most amazing drive. B slept all the way, while I gawped out the window in true tourist fashion......minus the geeky camera case dangling freely from my neck.....of course.

We had 4 days riding in the village, one of those days were illuminated kindly by the bright star we call the sun....precipitation accompanied us through the woooops for the other 3! On day 2 we met Spike, a good friend of mine from the UK........he randomly pulled up next to us and shouted JAYMIE MART while we were sussing out a drop on A-Line, and thank god he did.Spike took on the role of friend/funniest and most efficient tour guide we could have wished for!!

He wizzed us both up and over each jump, drop, rock section and berm on most of the trails on the hill at the rate of knotts......this will make sense for those of you who have ridden there, so we covered, B line, A line, Freight Train, Dirt Merchant, Ho Chi Min, Karate Monkey, Crab apple, Duffman, Hornet, Clown Shoes, Schlayer, Upper and Lower joyride and Upper Whistler DH.....and those are the ones I can rememeber!



Whistler was so much better than I could have ever imagined, the facilities were awesome and the trails just let you do what you want, easy, technical, pedally, steep, rooty, rocky, north shore, you could ride what you wanted, when yo wanted!!











I have never been strong at jumping, but for 4 days, I felt like I could jump, I was clearing nearly everything and getting comfortable enough to whip it a little on some stuff tooo.....oh lala!!











We had a fab time and caught up with another friend from home who was out there for a season, the not so wee Matt Parkinson!! We also caught a glimpse of 2 bears, one in the village and one baby bear on the trail, so cute! We had T and a few too many beers with the Canadian DH contingent, Bucky, Clair Buchar and Katrina Strand...they are all as always, mad as toast!!The day before we were due to fly home, we headed into Vancouver for a night of urban comfort at the Hilton. B and I ventured into downtown Vancouver to have drinks with one of my dearest friends from Uni, Frankie Bean! Nothing changes with Frankie, she is like an old book, you can start up where you picked off!!.......She did point us in the direction of a few things to keep us out of mischeif in the city on our last day............so off we plodded........out towards Frankies new Uni, UBC and onto Wreck Beach........

AND STRAIGHT INTO A NUDIST FESTIVAL!! It was actually pretty fun, there is 'nowt as quere as folk' and that was certainly highlighted on Wreck Beach! Brown people, wrinkly people, senior willy, droopy boobs, abs, overhands, body acceptance machines, gays, straights, logs, umbarellas, bare feet, hammer toes, warts and all.....you name it and someone was displaying it with pride! I just loved that place. If you get a chance to go.......don't think twice!










Fat birds DON' T FLY

Bruised FUFU and Gold on the table!

So round it came again, the Scottish Champs!! I have had the title for a while now although I haven’t scheduled in many regionals this season, the Champs was a dead cert and something not to be overlooked because of commitments to work!!

I landed up on Sunday night and spent the night camping about 5 miles from the race site at Glen Etive, it was amazing, it is one of the most accessible but untouched areas of Scotland, not far of the main road. The camping laws in Scotland are fairly relaxed in that I think you are allowed to pitch a tent anywhere, as long as it is not within 100 yards of a dwelling. I camped with a few guys from the village right next to the Glen itself.

So, the course, for ya'll internationals reading this, is the only other course in Scotland which has chairlift access, and it is about 17 miles from Fort William and it is GNAR!! Steep and rocky and scary as hell!! I didn’t walk, but took the Angel (Trek Session 88) straight up for a big ole blast, I couldn’t wait to ride it! My first run was a mess, I was hitting the rocks blind but got through it all okay, the next few runs were great, as long as you could thread the needle on that course, you were fine. As the volume of riders on course increased, the track started to degrade and it did so pretty rapidly! The moisture from the various streams got dragged over the once dry rocks and soil which resulted in the course becoming greasy and increasingly more brutal. I had a few really bad crashes in my first run and took some sore knocks, but nothing could prepare me for the bashes in my second run. As I was navigating off the back of the bike through some rocks, I suddenly came to a standstill, before I knew it, I had wacked the saddle so hard and got pitched over the bars. I don’t know what got me to the bottom apart from sheer adrenaline, but I got to the hot seat and the guys from GOFAST handed me a chilled can which I shoved into my pants to numb the pain!! Needs must I suppose!!

Anyway, Helen Gaskell took the actual race win, but because she isn’t eligible for the title, I lifted the cup. In the past, when I first moved to Scotland, there have been a few years that I wasn’t eligible for the title and won the actual race, since that point, I have always lifted the cup with a victorious race win, but this was the first year that didn’t happen, I was a little gutted that I didn’t take both victories, but I guess I am safe in the knowledge that Gas is one fast Eddie!! The journey home was pretty gruesome too, about 30 miles from the race site the guy I travelled with’s dog had the worst dose of the Gary Glitters (shitters) on the seat in the van right next to me….by the time I realised what was going down it was too late, the stuff was frikking everywhere……including my seatbelt buckle. I screamed for the dude to pull over and when he did, I flung the door open, but I couldn’t get out! There was DOOOOOO on my belt buckle and there was no way on hells earth I was touching it. I started dry heaving and crying and didn’t stop until long after the dude had unleashed my seatbelt! Completely grossed out, I sat in the back the rest of the way home!!

So there you have it, one random weekend!!

Ciao fer the noo! Jme. XX

Fort Bill, The Angel and Mrs Thomas.

Guest Book insert;

'Mrs Thomas, you may not remember me, but my name is Motty Mott Mott. I live in Flagstaff AZ, ride MX, fix bikes and sing about freedom. I stayed in your log cabin for 5 nights, you washed my friends clothes, hung em out to dry and brought em back all neatly folded. I hung my washing out and left it for 5 nights too, but Mrs Thomas, you never folded my clothes or washed them. On the 5th night, I shed a tear, brought them in, folded them myself and now I ready to go back to the USA. Mrs Thomas, I have one question for you.....What would you do if you had to fold my clothes for Freedom?. Thanks again for having us, your place was swell. Motty Mott Mott.'

K, so in our rush, we forgot the guest book entry, but I am sure if Motty had the chance, that's what he'd have written!! We totally landed on our feet with accom at the Bill this year, a last minute booking, 4* digs with leather sofa's...I know, I know, I can feel you rubbing your thighs in delight!!

So, this week, it was Barbados and the USA, Buhl, Motty, Steve and Dave. The most amazing bunch of DH boys I have ever roomed with, they showered us with culinary delights and mechanical comfort all week long (a.k.a Dave fixed my puncture!). It was a quiet week for us, but boy did the riding benifit!

I have to say tho, I didn't ride on form just because of the good grub and early nights.....it was more to do with the arrival of the Angel! Mr B from TREK carried yet another steed across the pond for me, but this time it was a little different ;). The Session 88, A.K.A. 'Angel' went down a storm on course, she pedalled a dream, cornered like a waltzer in full spin and jumped like a frog from the pond. I was in my element all week. I haven't felt at one with a bike like that for yonks, that sounds like a pile of cods-wollup, but it's true! The press were lovin it too. It's was the first in the country and it's seriously going to be a BIG deal next season. I rode it as stock, no Ti spring, stock wheels and FOX forks and with all of that, after a weigh in on the TOMAC scales, it came to a mere 39lbs. In the US the guys have fitted some lighter parts and got it down to 32lbs. The lightness and the plush linkage on the rear end which does the same as a floating brake will separate the bike from it's counterparts and lead the way for light, responsive bikes off the shelf in the future. Keep your eyes peeled for more info, reports and product feedback.....and if you want more specifics, check out the TREK site. I spent Friday afternoon in a photo shoot with Geoff Waugh. I have used some of his pics here and on the side of the main page. We were out on the trails for a couple of hours and got some great shots. It was so much fun, Geoff is great pro photographer as you can see. Check out his site http://www.waughphotos.com/

The track was the usual Fort Bill gnar, but the additional changes this year made it flow beautifully, the course builders were on top of most of the diving braking bumps, although it was still horrendously rough, hard on bike and body it seemed easier to ride. They removed the crappy left hand rock corner onto the motorway and replaced it with a smooth kicker, so you could carry your speed right through. The wood section was sweet too, no changes there, but the dryness helped for sure. B.T.W The photo below was sent to me from www. phunkt.com

K, so quali was great on Sunday, I qualified 18th and was over the moon until I realised that a few of the faster burds got red flagged. After they had their second run, their times pushed me out of the final and I finished 22nd. Gutted by that, but not too dismayed as I know, finally after three bad races that I am back up to my speed, and the monkey that has been weighing me down is now firmly off my back!!

So, round up without the babble. Buhl got on 2 podiums GO GAL! Fi popped some ribs OUCH! The after party was a total FLOP. Almost the entire Syndicate squad got on the podium which was great to see, it was also ace to see Nathan back on form, about time too! Freedom turns were UNREAL. J.D has the most BIZARRE wardrobe!! Brian from the CYCLEJERSEY is a total leg-end and has made us the coolest custom fitted jerseys EVER! Dan A.K.A Blabbermouth, my team manager is officially the rad-est MC to date. Everyone should embrace the elbow dance.

For results, as usual, you can check the UCI site http://www.uci.ch/.

Beers in. X

TATA's to the Sun!

Inbetween Andorra and Fort Bill us girlies decided to take some time out and bask like seals on a nude beach in Barcelona laying TaTa's to the sun! Things kinda went to plan with some adjustments and additions.......Motley (Motty Mott Mott) Buhls mechanic, and good friend of ours joined us which was great, but we didn't quite make it to the nude beach...never the less, we found a window for nudity!!

We got into Barcelona early in the afternoon after the most scenifc drive burdened by stink hangovers. Barcelona was a heaven of moped riders winding their way in and out, one BURK smashed into our wing mirror, which was pretty stupid!! The sun was SCORCHIO!! We stayed for a few days at Gina G and Wee Cathrines place just outside of Barcelona a hop, skip and rollie pollie from the beach and the waters edge.

We walked through the door and were slapped in the face by the aroma of Dim sum, thai red curry and home made choco brownies. Bearing in mind that since the marathon, I have been eating enough to feed a modest african family pretty much every meal, one would think that stuffing my face with posh nosh, once again would be a little extravagant, when in Rome!!

When it comes to food, it's always best to air on the side of caution and stuff up, as you never know where your gonna get your next meal from right? I'm never on the slow boat to china as far as food is concerned. That night we dined like Kings and Queens.

After dinner, we took the kite down to the beach and tried to fly it. I blatenly wasn't thinking as there was NO wind!! So, that wore thin after about a dozen attempts chucking the kite in the air and waiting as if it was magically gonna take flight!! Nev and Buhl sat there patiently, egging us on. The next morning, I attempted to fly the kite again solo at the crack of dawn, in the absense of the essential ingredient WIND. You'd think I would learn?! After being amused by some crazy EuRo beach antics and etire, a wee swim and a beautiful lunch and then packed up and hit the airoport. I bumped into an old friend of mine from Aberdeen in the airport which was a lovely suprise!

Love, peace and chicken grease.

Jme XX

IS YOUR BIKE HUNGRY? THEN LET ER EAT!

K, so of late, I've been kicking back and watching some Peter Kay and talking to my friend about the politial incorrectness and hilarity of comedians such as our one and only Billy Connolly. Then I got to thinking about my blog, I read a few of the last posts and realised that something is up with me. I'm getting boring and being serious!! Well, I guess some people like that, the 'this one time at band camp, I did this and this and this....Seriously tho, it's numb. It aint what this blog is about......so, here goes, a naked view of the races! Andorra, home to the luxury of tax free status. We rocked in on Wednesday after a manic drive over hill and dale with Top Fuel (Melissa Buhl) and her hilarious aunt and Top Gun instructor Gina G. Gina is a kick ass bitch let me tell ya, she is not only airoplane captain, but she also instructs pilots. The only thing bad about her is she did bring Tom Cruise along for the ride, there were no great balls of fire for me!! Probs a good thing as my Tom Cruise was waiting in the wings!! X I was in my element on track after a few 'bedding in' runs. It was like Innerleithen, tight, rooty and wet. Just how I like it...loads of threading the needle required and some rutted riding top to toe. We let er eat big style and rode the snake like we've never ridden it before. Caecelia was bitching up there, there was some really flowey corners and unsuspecting fly offs which we rode off joyously, like a nun in a cucumber field. It sure wasn't our first rhodeo!! So, yet again, if pracci was my race, I'd have flown through the quali. I've never had as much great feedback in a LONG while!! So many of the riders came upto me a complimented my riding which was a MAAAAAHHHOOOSIVE boost......but I got all nervous and about 5 corners from the bottom and thought to myself...'GO JIM, GO.....(and then the terminal thought hit) DON'T CRASH MOFO'. You can guess what happened next, thats right, the sea earchin rose up from behind the bush, blew a kiss and knocked me into the bears arms. I shouted for peace, guzzled a Sunday roast (leaving the yorkshire for last...obviously) and then went into battle. By the time I turned by back on the then wounded bear, mounted my chariot and crossed the finishline, the battle with the clock was lost. I finished 31st and hung my head in dismay, once again, shed a breif tear and admitted defeat. The monkey returned to it's roosting place, on my back. SUGAR PLUMS.

Aside from all of the above, my head was not on the game and I messed up. So, what else happened over the course of the weekend? Erm, I found out that CG owned half of Andorra. Cedric organised a great party for us in his bar which ws next to his bike shop and down the road from his club!! He was the perfect gent and made sure we were all looked after!! Chris Ball, UCI tech deligate is the new ambassador for the UCI polo shirt, both long and short sleeved! Nice!! My friend Diana Margraff rode her best weekends riding in so long and made me so proud. She has come a long way in the past year and jumped some enormous hurdles to be where she is now and it was a beautiful day for her. She has the coolest hair doo at the mo too, a mullet, buisiness on top, party round the back!!

Neven was my roomie for the week, poor soul, we chatted about everything and nothing until the small hours, she woke up with me fully clothed in the bed next to her on a number of occasions, phone charger cable round my neck and probably dribbling...mmm, nice!! I think I might have a larger than normal phone bill next month. It's all GRAVY?! :)

Onwards and upwards.......Barcelona, here we come. X