Heads up..............

Hey troops,

I just wanted to give you the heads up, I had a text from Chris Ball from Dirt School (A.K.A UCI technical deligate and SCU DH devo coach) yesterday morning telling me that he had found his van smashed up and the contents stolen.

They took all sorts from his van, but most importantly, his factory Ironhorse, with green hope brakes and hubs and also 09 Fox forks and shock. They also stole timing and video kit.

If you hear anything or see anyone on his bike, please call the police and call Chris. His number is 07736321795.......or drop him an e-mail, his address is on his site.

Thats the official line.......if you do see anything, namly some pikey pikey, do as you likey skooting round on Chis's pushiron, feel free to push him off, kick him in the goolies and if you so happen to have any gaffa tape and a permenant marker, do take it upon yourself if you are feeling burly, to strap him to the nearest post and scribble humiliating obscenities on his forehead while waiting for the police to come!!

The Barts.......Barnes and Mart tied the knot!

I remember writing about Liz and Adam getting engaged on here ages ago, in fact I think it was like the 2nd ever post, I though it would be the funniest thing to post photos of my older bro Adam in a Jimmy Saville wig sitting in a dust bun....stranger things have happened since, trust me!!










Anyway, last weekend, Liz and Adam lived their dream wedding day. Months of planning and hours of thought went into their day and it was nothing short of beautifully wonderful! It was so 'them' everything they ever wanted rolled smoothly into just less than 12 hours!


The church was beautifully decorated, the Father a riot, the guests were all correct and present, people who have enriched both of their lives, lovely, wholesome and fun people! The choir brought the house down.....Adams speech rocked, the addition of sound bites and a personal congratulations from Jason Donavan himself went down a treat......the cake was lush, as was the food, the Austin Princess was white and old and very sleeeeeeek.......the music was ace and the moves were top.....and the Inn was just amazing, every room was individually decorated and elegant, 4 poster beds, african parrots, the most amazin collection of antique furniture, and one of my old flatmates favourites......Molton Brown bath minitures!!I was the worst bridesmaid, so busy, struggled to get the dress fitted, missed the rehearsal as I was looking for shoes and a strapless bra.....and briefly a pair of spanks, until I realised I was 27 and had no excuse to spend £35 or wear hold it all in pants/tights except for shear laziness and a twinge of gauging on rich and indulgent grub!The wedding breakfast was lovely...hosted by Mother Mart, herself (My Mum). We had a some great nosh and a giggle. On the morning of the wedding, I hot footed it cross country to get ready with Liz and her sister Kath. I took with me, under strict instructions from my brother, one last rolo, a CD, a wrapped box and a list of instructions......Liz was to play the CD, eat a rolo and on the 2nd track open the box. The first track was my brother talking to her.....the second track was Hotel California.....the box contained a platinum Hotel California disc, a silver inscription and a photo of where they would spend their first night on honey moon......in THE Hotel California! Not much renders me speechless, but that DID......I cried........and so did Adam......
The photos were taken by a couple called the Lawsons, and they were just the most fantastic couple ever and it shows in the beauty of their photos! If you are getting married any time soon, it may be worth checking out their site www.lawsonphotography.com

THEY DID IT!! Congratulations guys!! ALL MY LOVE. Lil J. XXX

Shladminger STRIKE 4.

So, this was the 4th time I have screwed my race head on and ridden in a World Cup at Schladming, and for the 2nd time, this was the final round.For some reason, pracci started on the Thursday and race was on the Saturday which was as mixed up as fried eggs on a slice of carpet with a dollop of engine oil for breakfast, I mean, it's a world cup, it's not meant to be rushed!! Whatever the UCI say tho!
The course was AWESOME, it will always be one of my favourites, a true alpine course, fairly natural, steep and fast! It has an element of everything except rocks, but I think that is true to the terrain. It's flowey and smooth to ride, but towards the end of practice and into quali's the braking bumps were pretty vicious.












Much like Fort William, the breaking bumps and length of the course were the killer and drained your energy so quickly, those smart enough to sign up to the self preservation society did the best thing and rested, there wasn't much to learn......it was more a case of conserving energy!
True to form, I loved practice and nailed everything I set myself up for.
When Quali came around, I rode cautiously and fluffed up in places which I should have blasted through.











I finished 25th, miffed and questioning whether it is possible to race to this level and work and do everything else whilst maintaining any kind of level satisfying personal achievement is possible.....it is all to easy to spread oneself thin and become that ever so common, 'jack of all and master of none'. I have some training and thinking to be done over the winter........one thing I we all need to remember is....... FAT BURDS don't fly!!Fi Kicked off the after party in style scrounging not 1 but 2 kegs of beer from the local Schladminger brewery, we gathered in the troops for some pre party party beers and collected donations for our friend Tara Llanes! As always, everyone was super generous and dug down DEEP! Everyone was in the pits, kicking back for what seemed like hours after the race. Intense threw an awesome party for the riders with cranking beats and beer which took us upto about 11pm.













When we had to figure out a away infiltrate this crazy building where the party eventually moved too. For some reason, the club was incredibly hard to get into, the riders were like spiders, sneeking in through any open door, ducking and diving, bribing the bouncers, climbing in through the ceiling, you name it...but we all did it! The day after we had the most perfect hangover cure, schnitzel and strudel with ice cream followed by a 7km downhill off road go kart race............it kinda speaks for it's self hu!! The go karts were just awesome, beat up ragged ole things with crappy brakes! You could slam on the anchors and rail them round the corners......you needed goggles for sure as you kick up so many rocks when you braked!
On our last day, we all hung out at one of the coolest castles I have ever seen inbetween Schladming and Salzburg, the silliest thing is, I don't know what it was called, but it had an awesome falconary centre in it with the coolest collection of birds I have ever seen in one place...check it. The castle looked like sonething out of the Sound of Music, it had the coolest brickwork and surrounding fortress.

We headed to the airport, all ready for home, exhausted and craving a home comforts....cleared security, spent the last of the euros on chocolate and crappy flavoured water only to be told out flight had been cancelled.......dooom loomed! Thankfully we were in the safe hands of Mr super organised and super efficient B, who got onto it sharpish. Before we knew it, we were back in Salzburg in a comfy hotel waiting for another day in the land of the Sound of music and another bunch of traditionally laderhosen clad Austian chappies to slap our visuals senseless!!


Rhodeo Mart.

Whistles in Whistler and Nudes in Vancouver

When work sucks and you need to catch a glimpse of the fun side of you for a while...what do you do, JUMP ON THE FUN TRAIN!!

Thanks to B and his red carpet club status, we managed to land some last minute flights to sunny Vancouver. Actually, all credit to him he took the reins on the whole trip! I tend do take the 'manyana' approach to planning things which has never set me in bad stead.....but B for some reason struggles to relax on my slack programme (who knows why that is??! ;))! Before I knew it, we had somewhere to stay, a transfer and a flight......GAME ON.

We landed in Vancouver on the Tuesday afternoon and headed upto Whistler and Blackcombe. It was the most amazing drive. B slept all the way, while I gawped out the window in true tourist fashion......minus the geeky camera case dangling freely from my neck.....of course.

We had 4 days riding in the village, one of those days were illuminated kindly by the bright star we call the sun....precipitation accompanied us through the woooops for the other 3! On day 2 we met Spike, a good friend of mine from the UK........he randomly pulled up next to us and shouted JAYMIE MART while we were sussing out a drop on A-Line, and thank god he did.Spike took on the role of friend/funniest and most efficient tour guide we could have wished for!!

He wizzed us both up and over each jump, drop, rock section and berm on most of the trails on the hill at the rate of knotts......this will make sense for those of you who have ridden there, so we covered, B line, A line, Freight Train, Dirt Merchant, Ho Chi Min, Karate Monkey, Crab apple, Duffman, Hornet, Clown Shoes, Schlayer, Upper and Lower joyride and Upper Whistler DH.....and those are the ones I can rememeber!



Whistler was so much better than I could have ever imagined, the facilities were awesome and the trails just let you do what you want, easy, technical, pedally, steep, rooty, rocky, north shore, you could ride what you wanted, when yo wanted!!











I have never been strong at jumping, but for 4 days, I felt like I could jump, I was clearing nearly everything and getting comfortable enough to whip it a little on some stuff tooo.....oh lala!!











We had a fab time and caught up with another friend from home who was out there for a season, the not so wee Matt Parkinson!! We also caught a glimpse of 2 bears, one in the village and one baby bear on the trail, so cute! We had T and a few too many beers with the Canadian DH contingent, Bucky, Clair Buchar and Katrina Strand...they are all as always, mad as toast!!The day before we were due to fly home, we headed into Vancouver for a night of urban comfort at the Hilton. B and I ventured into downtown Vancouver to have drinks with one of my dearest friends from Uni, Frankie Bean! Nothing changes with Frankie, she is like an old book, you can start up where you picked off!!.......She did point us in the direction of a few things to keep us out of mischeif in the city on our last day............so off we plodded........out towards Frankies new Uni, UBC and onto Wreck Beach........

AND STRAIGHT INTO A NUDIST FESTIVAL!! It was actually pretty fun, there is 'nowt as quere as folk' and that was certainly highlighted on Wreck Beach! Brown people, wrinkly people, senior willy, droopy boobs, abs, overhands, body acceptance machines, gays, straights, logs, umbarellas, bare feet, hammer toes, warts and all.....you name it and someone was displaying it with pride! I just loved that place. If you get a chance to go.......don't think twice!










Fat birds DON' T FLY