Jaymie Mart - BARBADOS NATIONAL DOWNHILL TEAM - one of the most colourful and well loved athletes on the UCI Mountain Bike World Cup tour today.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Oooot the Parish!

Its been a while since I we all did a lake pub crawl!! Last time was on the General Lee, Zaks unbelieveably fast illegal speed boat (speed boats are banned on Lake Ullswater, thanks to the white afro stuck in the mud attitudes on noise pollution HUMPH! No wakeboarding for us :( ) the guys can get the General from one end of the lake (9miles) to the other in 7 mins! A few nights ago there was a few too many of us for the GL, so we used Lord Pymonts chugger!! Lord Pymont is a Scottish Lord with an extensive penchant for fishing in the lakes, legend!! It took us an hour to get from one end to the other, but it was lovely, the sun was low and warm in the sky, great night for it! We landed in Pooley Bridge and went to the Sun Inn...after a few there in the beer garden, we 'chugged' to Howtown to the Hotel for the usual snakebites.... tradition, not choice! It was quite a civilised night out of the parish for the hill billies, no monster trucks, no go karts, no donuts on speed boats, no trials bikes, no burn outs IN THE PUB on MX bikes or stupidity and certainly no-mink trap checks!!

I spent a day working at the World Rowing Championships last week, it was inspirational, super fit athletes everywhere with one goal; To win! Rowing is a cool sport to watch, and more-so at the top level, the guys and girls make it look so graceful! With my Championships coming up, I'm grabbing every ounce of inspiration going. My new team jerseys went off to press today, my custom helmet is underway, Fly have given me some cool yellow/blue kit and the offical Barbados team passes are being assigned!! The race is just gonna ROCK THE WORLD! 60'000 spectators and an atmosphere to engulf! BRING IT ON!

I committed a cardinal sin a few weeks back too, I joined the gym and got a trainer!! Its not like am not able to design my own programme, but I need someone to push me, check my technique and spot for me. I hate gyms, so clinical, sterile, unnatural and confined. Training should be fun, running on the mountains, ripping up the trails, rowing on the rivers, sailing on the lakes and climbing the crags. I find gyms frustrating at the best of times and don't get the fix the meat heads or the gym bunnies have with 'hanging' out in them. Half those types have no actual skill or drive for sport, it is all about the look, the endless rank, misinformed chat about training, technique, fads and food, there is a constant need to out do each other with it all. B.S!! The song 'You're so vein' should be played on loop just for these self obsessed wanna-bees!! The buff guys love the skinny bints n vice versa, ah, the new age hook ups, how fickle!! It's comical to watch the inter gym incest fest. They could make a TV show about it! I can see it now, 'The Gym'....Episode 1. Tracy and Dave get down in the steam room under the excited delusion that they are the first, the only and the most original!! Little do they realise that they are probs rolling around in the greasy residue and STDs left by the multitude of other insatiable gym addicts!! GOOOOUUUU. And breath.......

I've a kick ass programme, mainly explosive ballistic work and plyometrics, I need to build on my power output and lactate tolerance. It is hilarious, my trainer has me literally throwing and and dropping the weights!! Fort Bill is long, and last time I was there it hurt!! It should hurt tho, but not because I am unfit, because I am pushing my limits. I don't want my fitness to hold me back next month. Apart from spinning classes, I'm doing every bit of CV outside, I have no reason to be cooped up like a not so funky chicken!! I found the coolest machine there today tho, spent 30 mins pressing the buttons before I had to stop b/c I felt sick. It was ace, it spat out skittles, XL cheese crisps, mars bars, highland chews, the works!! MAGIC! X
Speaking of CV, I had a wicked ride out the other night, a big group of us from home, one of the guys was on the Cotswald Adventure Racing squad. The stuff they do is UNREAL! His team came 30th in the World Champs, 7 days across Scotland, day 1 was a 65km paddle from an island to the main land, day 2 was a 150km cycle with next to no sleep....the list goes on!! Puts my perception of an epic ride well into perspective!! We were out for a few hours in the rain and mud n had a slip slidy ball! Good old school natural rocky lakeland riding! Cannae beat it! X

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

The Hub of the Hub.

I trekked across from a DOO n meal out in Glasgow to the Hub for the day yesterday! It was working during the day and in the evening, we ventured out on the push irons for a bitch train lap of the red! It was a wicked evening, sun shining, quiet and semi-dry trails considering the wet wellie weather of late.

After our ride, Teeny and I took her wee dowg for a walk and then piled round to Em n Tracys for a knees up! As always, the food was nothing short of finger licking good, crazy kebabs and BBQ bangers! Lush! The chat got going, as did the SMOOOOOTH vino and B4 we knew it, the heat lamps were on and it was the thick of night!!

I rode well, I haven’t been on board for a while with one thing and another, but my fitness wasn’t out of sorts! My arm on the other hand, by-creiky!! I got bitten by an unsuspecting mighty midge and my arm has morphed itself into THE ELEPHANT ARM! It is seriously hot and itches constantly! It was a bizarre feeling riding with it, I could feel the fluid in the inflammation moving around over every bump!!

Monday, July 23, 2007

Rach's BIG pHat OiRish Wedding

Destination: London town!

In true Swiss brain style style, after a panicked rush across London back to my Bros house to see if I'd left my hair straighteners on, we landed in the midst of a salubrious English/Oirish wedding with minutes to spare. Phew!!

The brothers, sisters, brother in laws and future sister in law!!........Liz, Mum, Paul, Emma and me!
4 years ago my Step Sister Rach found the man of her dreams....on Saturday, she married him!!Yeeeha! Patrick the Oirish Cork is a true legend in his own right with a mad family and entourage to match ours! I am the smallest of the 'Shepley/Mart' litter and have a Bro and two Step Sisters to look up to, and some massive footsteps to walk in. All three of them are fun, inspirational, beautiful and successful people! Saturday was Rachels day. The Wedding was a blast, set under the umbrella of the Comfort Hotel in a cool area in East London, the couple married, dined like king and queen and got smashed in style! Both Rach and Pat looked radiant and shone amidst the glow of there new found wedding bliss.....long may it continue!!

It was a glam wedding with a relaxed easy atmos. I sat on a table with Danny Boyles family (the director of many a classic including Trainspotting, The beach, 28 Days later and Sunshine, his newest film). A little star struck to begin with, I ventured into a bit of causal chat, and with the normality of some of the brightest most interesting people, I was immediately put at ease. I lost all grasp of my table etiquette and poured what I thought was cream onto my fruit salad....it was milk YUK!! This wasn't a reflection of the company, more so of the effects of O.Ding on the vino, no surprises there?!!! Not phased, I ditched the desert and went to check out the shakey kneed best man. He had the thickest Corky mans accent ever and was truley petrified at the prospect of doing his speech in front of the masses!!. I bought him a Jack n Coke in a vein, last ditch effort to help calm his nerves. When the moment came, he couldn't stand up, (not sure that had anything to do with his state of inebriation or not?!) but we all sat beck and listened to his speech unravel none the less!! He told us how he took the speech to his local old folks home and read it to the oldies, they pissed them selves, literally! He knew from their reaction, that it would be a killer!!
The hotel got fined £5'000 for the not so raucous noise made by smoking antics of the masses of smokers who gathered outside the establishment?!! Fancy having a hotel in a residential burgh of London and not expecting to have any noise after the smoking ban came into play??!! Contingency contingency, contingency......is all I can say!!

Apart from that, the day was just fab, everything ran smoothly, I got to hang out with my entire family, have a giggle, a few dance-offs, some daftness and far too many sneaky shots! Rachel and Pat had a wicked day too which is the main thing! Happy days!!

Yesterday afternoon we gathered for afternoon T at my Bros place. In the evening I went to Wimbledon for a spot of village visiting with Emma, Paul, my Ma and John, then I headed to side to hang with my old friend, school mate, old flat mate and partner in crime, Hannah. We went out on a hair of the dog mission in Herne Hill. Minding our own business we were bombarded by a few guys, one of which was a total crumpet, one of the editors of the People on Sunday. He told us all about the current 'alleged' celeb gossip and swore us to secrecy on a few other 'alleged' celeb discoveries!! The word tool was ringing from every oraphis esp after the squillienth time he dropped in the word 'allegedly' into conversation in order to cover his not so manly ass!!. At the first opportunity, we legged it and went to a cool bar round the corner for a swift, uninterrupted few fruit beers a girly catch up!!

What a cool w.e...., catching up with family and friends and squeezing a few episodes of the Mighty BOOSH in on the sly!!

Brother Adam.....a few too many?! NEVER!! x

Bagby Barns........

After a lovely evening picking fruit in Nats orchards, and a few beers in the local, we landed home to some BIG raspberry PICKINGS, a fruitful supper, a few bottles of vino reddo, some champas n some optical lashings of Pimms (Oh, its that time of year again!!). A few drunken catch up calls with the homies, a lengthy call to a hottie in the US of A. Too many costume changes, a karaoke style sing along and Nats and I K.O'd at a respectable 4am!!

Bagby sheds are an awesome place for me, a place of homley retreat and comfort. Back on 96 we (my Friends from home and myself) lost a dear friend of ours, Kimmy. She was killed tragically in a car accident while we were in sixth form. Kimmy was one of life's amazing people, beautiful, energetic, intelligent, kind and loving with everything in front of her. Shortly after Kim died, everyone blasted up to Bagby (Nats second home) and spent a weekend under the Sheds umbrella drinking and saying good bye to her in our own wee way. Since than, it has held may happy memories of drunken nights with amazing people, time in inflatable car preservation bubbles, time at the beach snorkeling, sailing, sea kayaking, raiding lobster pots, nursing Kathrine after breaking her arm whilst attempting a severely alchol induced cartwheel and failing miserably, going to hospital and returning in plaster and high on Valium, ...pitching wigwams from willow sticks and tarpaulin and skinny dipping in the cold Scottish sea!!
The sheds are wicked, 3 sheds joined in2 one long home, a shed for the work stuff, a mass music room, a pool room, a string of bedrooms, bathrooms, a bedroom with a slide into it and so many open fires it is hard not to stay warm! Nats and I reminisced last week and let loose. I morphed into a call girl with an open mic, and Nats passed out on the floor!! Another great time at the sheds!! XXX

Tuesday, July 10, 2007


So, the Schladminger award this year was won by.....drum roll.....drum roll....drum roll.....Weiner Schnitzel!! Ah, any excuse to say weiner and schnitzel in the same sentance!! Hee hee!!I just got back from a speedy few days in one of my fav Austrian Villages, Schladming. Round 4 of the UCI World Cup. The track was as awesome as ever, really bumpy, wide open in parts, flat out with a few new technical wooded sections. It is an unreal track, it took me just under 6 mins, I was on the brakes way too much. I let myself get stupidly distracted my a weiner schnitzel and wasn't as focused as I should have been....but I still managed 25th place which means 3 top 25s for me! Yeeeeea! That leaves me in 24th OVERALL IN THE WORLD! Lets get giddy!! XX

So....Day 1 saw me arrive a little bleary eyed after a Ferrel night on the floor of Stansted airport. I had a mission getting there after experiencing my usual disorganisation and missing the last train to the airport! With a little help from my London based Homie Hannah, I made my way across the city on the tube with my kit bag and bike and found a farleys rusk (bus) which took me to the airport! A rather hungover Fionn met myself and a few stranglers at the airport including NO NO NO NO man from southerndownhill.com and Martin the GB masseur . After very little sleep, we hiked down the course, sorted out bikes then ventured out for an impromptu beer, which turned into a messy night in the Mexican with the usual suspects! Practice was early the next morning, but we had all day, so we chilled out, sectioned the course and got to grips with the alpine speed. I was having a little trouble with my brake set up, so I went to see Nick from Hope. I hung out with him for about half an hour while he fitted different length levers and fiddled with the lever pull. Once they were perfect, I headed home for some much needed RnR!

Saturday practice was again long, it is easy to wear yourself out on that course, so I just stuck to 5 runs, and made sure I accomplished every obstacle on course and took the time to watch and take a leaf from the the guys and gals while they nailed the sections. I walked the course again and drew my secret course map and settled in from an early one.

Sunday, I woke and pinned the tail on the donkey (number on jersey), headed up super early for practice before qualification. First practice is always the worst, got to shake the cobwebs and get the crashes out of the way! It was obvious in qualifying that the cobwebs were still sticking me together as I had the most diabolical run! I crashed hard in the woods and was down for a while. Once I got up, my 30 second girl was on me, I let her passed and she went and stacked right in front of me! Apparently the whole thing was on the big screen?!! Good job it wasn't the final!! I made it through and lined up again for another 6 minute brain shake! I had a great run, just overly cautious on the brakes, and managed to shaved 39 seconds off (which is heaps.....shows you how long I was on the ground after my crash) and finished in 25th place!!

So.....the extracurricular activities!! We had a ball, apart from too many SchLadMinger beers in the Mexican, we kidnapped D-Dawg and waxed his hairy fingers, ate far too many 'kebaps' for our own good, raced 7km downhill on off road go karts and got faces full of dust and stones. Fionn kicked ass again in the 4X and finished 3rd....erm erm erm erm, I shouted weiner schnitzel a few times, had my nails and fingers painted by drunken Mr Leov, missed my flight and had a random road trip back from Austria (Fee n Jill....your the best!). I got repremanded by a local gardener for raiding her plant pot and decorating my hair with her beautiful flowers?!! I was feeling a little blue and a splash of colour worked the trick! My friend Damion stopped me, asked me why I looked so blue, he told me if I could see what he saw, I wouldn't look blue at all! He took my photo and showed it to me. Its was the coolest thing anyone has done/said in a while...kind words are never wasted, and they don't cost anything!! X

On a slightly more bizzare note...check out this blast from my WILD CHILD past!! I got tagged this photo on face book by one of my old school buddies. It is me, sweet 16, or not so!! Check out the piercings, the purple lippy, the bike chain necklace n the fashion glasses!! What was I thinking?....erm, clearly, I wasn't!! XX

Sunday, July 01, 2007

If I could catch a rainbow
I would do it just for you.
And share with you it's beauty
On the days you're feeling blue.
If I could build a mountain.
You could call your very own.
A place to find serenity
A place to be alone.
If I could take your troubles
I would toss them in the sea.
But all these things I'm finding are impossible for me,
I cannot build a mountain
Or catch a rainbow fair
But let me be...what I know best, a friend that's always there.
~Khahlil Gibran
Even if you are not on this photo, you know who you are!
I love you all. xx

Good things come to those who wait!!

It's landed...

Al from MFX air art kindly drove all the way down tonight with my newly sprayed lid! Its been a while in coming, but hells bells, it was well worth the wait!
I have always wanted a funky custom spray job, something a little different from the norm, simple, bright and effective! My favourite flower is the hibiscus flower, every surf girl has something in her wardrobe/accessories box with a hibiscus on it!! Its not only funky, but it has strong links with the West Indies!!
The lid is a little different than the original design, but its just ace! I can't wait to show it off this weekend in Schladminger, Austria!!