Jaymie Mart - BARBADOS NATIONAL DOWNHILL TEAM - one of the most colourful and well loved athletes on the UCI Mountain Bike World Cup tour today.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Blast from the past...

Blast from the past! Check this pic out!! This was taken inbetween pracci at the Schladminger World Cup in Salzburg 2005!! Left to right, Me, Jamie Faulkner, Jules Coventry, Dan Jarvis, Fionn Griffiths, Jill Coleby and Petra Wiltshire!! Struth, check our period faces..was everyone so grumpy back then?!!!
I've just landed home after a leg in the van back from a few days in London. I dropped in on Fionn and Jill and Jo Petterson for a few hours. We squeezed in a few laps of the GO-KART track and saw some hot shot supermoto world circuit rider testing some fandabby-dosey nifty new carbon bike! Wish I was paying attention.....bit blonde when it comes to moto tech chat! WHO CARES!
If a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump its ass when it hopped!!
Clap-slap. XX

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Goodbye grey sky, hello blue......

You could have made a docu out of us all this weekend, we were full boar, everywhere you turned there were people ripping, laughing, getting up to mischief.

The Bronco got us all, we totally got into it and set up timed comps! Buhly won, not through skill I might add!! Just kidding duck!!

The after party rocked. SRAM organised free beer for the riders, which I have to confess, we missed out on, beacuse we were busy with our pre party party. We headed to the main DOO a little late, but it was so worth it. We got an entire bus to ourselves, and didn't we know it, it was chaos...

So....this week I learned...
1) Goggles aren't just for riding...they duel us as a defence against onion tears!
2) Never take Austrian airport symbols literally if you are a nervous flyer and scared of crash landings!!

3) Scribbling on your friends with pen is way more fun than getting tattoos, and they wash off, so you can have new ones every day! Yesh!!4) Never trust drunken team managers with ab exercisers in crowded rooms with loads of glass!
5) Brits are renowned for having nasty nashers...take pride in your dental hygiene! Floss daily and scrub like a mofo, rotten pegs look nasty!
6) Never wear go forwards to a world up after party unless you want to walk on glass, but we knew that anyway right?!
7) Always carry a wetsuit, you never know when it might come in handy!
8) The time displayed on a TomTom isn't wrong, it's your ETA. Cheers Neven!

This is how rumours start............aparantly!

Check out the race repo

Fix up look sharp. X

Watchout for the TOURONS (Tourist Morons)

From top to bottom, it was long, fast and just like a bowl of alpen, a little bit of everything! It had your eyeballs bouncing as you blasted over the squillions of roots, rocks and railed the wide open berms. It is an amazing course, smile all the way down, unlike the survival instincts you dig up when riding the fort, I found myself at one with my bike and the course. Practice was so much un, Diana and I rode flat out all day on Friday, I think we squeezed 6 runs in 4 hours!! Flat out! The only thing that held us up was the mammoth gondola ride, you hung loose in that thing for so long. The drop down to the ground was massive!! HEY YOU GUYS (Goonies style!)
Racing didn't go to plan. I rode cautiously again this weekend, if practice was my race, I would have rocked, but haven't we heard that before!! I have some work to do this winter..I need to adjust my mind set big time and start of fighting, rather than riding like I could crash any seconds and trying to play safe. It is a dull technique!!

Kiora. XX

Maribor. SLOVENIA! The Last Push!

The World Cup finals this year were held in Maribor, Slovenia. I raced the track back in 2002, it was my second ever World Cup (Seems like Yonks ago!!). The course went down as one of my all time favs along side Nevegal, Italy...and I swear, it didn't disappoint!

I flew in with an old wing man of mine, Cookie. We booked our flights for a penny a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, I managed to book my return flight a week late and was forced to buy anew ticket! Cluster F%@k or what!! Not ot mention the excess for my baggage!! Flying by the seat of my pants as Fi would say, it all turned out to be cool. Fi met up at the airport and we trucked to the site in the van.....stopping briefly to launch some moves off a bouncy castle!
First night in, we had a big old feast, no ghetto culinary muck ups in sight, I'm talking Buhly style curry with ALL da trimmins!! We had girly slumber (USA style) and wine on intravenous!! It was hilarious!!
There was a problem with my entry at rego, so I missed first days practice, with a little help from the guys in Barbados, everything was speedily sorted! Fi was hilarious in rego, she rocked up to the desk and I quote 'I have no licence and no money, I juts want to ride my bike please'!!

The day came to a close as we ate al fresco in what morphed to be our local jaunt for the week. Peaty, Nathan, our mechanic H-er and myself got messy! With a little peer pressure, H sank a whole half bottle of Tabasco, he vomited shortly after and was rewarded with night in 5 star digs! Good work!

Stretchy stretchy big fellas!!

You can do side bends and sit-ups, but don't you lose that BUTT!! xx

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The Race and beyond!!

Ok....So the race was unreal. What an amazing experience, the noise from the crowds was supersonically phenomenal! I heard nothing but encouragement ALL the way down the course, and believe me, if you have never seen it, that course is LONG! My run was fine, but again slow and cautious. I hit all the lines I wanted to, just not as fast as I was doing in practice. I had strength in my legs and made a good sprint down the bottom section!

I finished 33rd overall, not quite what I was hoping for, but I am stoked with that, in once piece!! BIG SHout out to Fionn for 5th in the DH, Buhly for her 3rd in 4x and Ruridh Cunningham for WINNING and acquiring the infamous rainbow stripes! What a phenomenal achievement. The results are on the UCI website:

But first, there is a small issue of the party!! They threw us an 80's party in the BIG TOP, Mama funk were on stage...and we all went to town! Check it out!! I could only take so much 80's, a few of us fled into town after laying down some big shapes on stage!! It was hilarious!!

Thanks to everyone who made it up there, everyone who cheered my on down the course. You mand not just the day special, but the event amazing and memories to last a life time. Thank you so much.
Big thanks to Fi and Jill for just being fantastic, organising me and kicking my lycra clad ass into touch! Jill, you are the best team manager in the world. Thank you for making it so memorable. Big thanks to the Keith and Charlie at the BCU for sorting out my entry/passes etc. Big thanks to Brian at the Cyclejersey.com for printing off my shirts!! Ian from Ian linton.com for taking some wicked snaps!! You all rock!! Thanks to my Mum and Jules for their summer of work a couple seasons back which enabled my to actually ride for team BARbados!

With that week wrapped up, the circus packed up and headed out of town to the warmer destination of Maribor, Slovenia.

Onwards and sideways.

Jme XX

Is seeding the same as sewing the wild oats???

Training was BAD ASS!! Everyone took it easy on their runs, the biggest battle at the Fort is to refrain from exhaustion!! One too many runs and you are left literally pitifully peeling your fingers off your bars!!

The good ole reliable Scottish precipitation fell lightly throughout training, but the course held up really well, the wooded section was dry and dusty for us girls nearly the whole weekend. Sneaky lines kept appearing which were faster, but it was tough to remember where they were!! My perception of the race course was etched in my brain by Thursday, and the fear of change lead me to unbearable depths of mental turmoil in my attempt to appropriately adjust my FBill mind map...all came good in the end tho!! I resorted to my usual tack and followed the BROWN LINE!!

I trained with Fi, Jo, Top Fuel, some of Team USA and Anka! Anka and I had such a giggle! Training for me was amazing, I have not had that much fun on the track for a while! I swear if pracitce was my race I would have kicked ass! I felt so strong and poweful..the joy of being able to stop and rest before hammering into sections hu! Buhly had a bit of a random crash off a table top and into a BOG!! It wasn't funny really as she nailed herself, but she successfully claimed the title of BOG SNORKELING QUEEN! Unfortunately, my challenge for the day stemmed from Buhlys delve into the murky waters, I had to dress up Scuba Steve style and gate crash the US Team brief.....after a random run round the hotel, we cooled off at the bar and then I went for a cheeky dip in the Loch to fulfil the days task!! Cheers Bog Snorkler!! Mission accomplished!

Seeding was a night mere!! I got to the top to warm up on the wind-trainer only to find that my shifter was bust. I could only ride in 4th gear!! I couldn't pedal in and out of corners and sprinting on the motorway was as hard almost as impossible as dry humping a waterfall. Thankfully, it was only seeding, not qualification!
Yowta here Yowth............

Wednesday, September 05, 2007


The most exciting race/week of the season is here. My entire race family is in one place (apart from a few major missing peeps...and you are all missed!!). Fort William is looking amazing, full of life, fit, young, healthy FUNNY/RAD athletes and BIKES!! Wicked. Buhly and I landed on Funday Monday with a bang and got settled in, we caught the gossip, got lost in a hotel and got in the provisions. It was Fionns B-day last week, so Nathan and I surprised her with 2 cakes and annoyingly amusing re-lightable candles! She loved it!

Course walking was a smile too...Buhly walked the whole thing backwards.....a knew knee saving technique (apparently!!). Dave, you would have been proud, she mystified us all with her outrageous moon walk skills. THRILLER!!

The opening ceremony was an opening ceremony!! I am sure you have all seen one on TV before!! They are formal but really fun, we got piped down the main street and cheered by hundreds of onlookers, it was a proud moment. The Aussies provided muchos entertainment, it was like a comp to see which Nation could be the coolest and get the biggest cheer!! Ah, brought a tear to my eye! Team Barbados scored the cutest flag bearer!! Check him...totally 'nae feart', the wee laddy was determined to hold the flag high the whole way, even tho the weight of the flag had doubled with rain!
After the opening ceremony, I had the delight of being 'whisked' out for dinner with 'MR HAPPY'???!!!
First day pracci was delightful, we all got moist and had our vision blurred by the spray from our tyres. Wet, muddy but fun! The course was super grippy and fast. It took me a few runs to get into it, but with a little help from my friends, Fionn and Jo, I feel up to speed. Good job too as seeding is tomorrow arvo! The new wood section is causing confusion, there are lines everywhere, its like a ground level rabbit warren!
The sun shone on Fort William yesterday, a little, it seemed like ages ago! Fionn has taken to contorting herself into a quirky headstand position in order to direct her methane contribution out of the tiny hole in the gondola!! It rained a little!! Tweed is the new black! Guesty and I went for coffee...I love Guesty!! I woke up this morning!! Fi and Jill have more granola bars than they know what to do with and have already demolished 3 boxes. I should learn to love apples? Buhly has been taken captive by TEAM AMERICA f%3K Yea!! Riffell pOOED his Doo. Rennie had a ducks breakfast?!! Elliot is here and is fixing my shock! Custom 'Team Head Wear' is so in this season, the US girls have ribbons for their hair, Team BAR have yellow beanies and Anja had a wicked custom woolly head peak, equip with under the chin tie ups...POSH!! Nick from Hope kissed my brakes and now they bite like bull dogs! I HAVE HOPE!! Anka is hilarious and ace to do runs with!! We can wear our skin suits tomorrow...YEA!! Team BAR (Barbados) have our own PITS, so, come visit. we might even give you a sticker!! XXLove you lots like jelly tots. XX

Please thank you, thank you please!!
P.S......My Bros godmothers dowg had puppies the other day...how adorable are they?!!! XXXX

Sunday, September 02, 2007

For Tara.

I had some really sad news today. My good friend Tara Llanes had a nasty crash whilst racing in the last round of the Jeep KOTM series yesterday in Beever Creek, USA.

Unfortunatly, Tara got airlifted off the hill with a broken back and neck, she suffered damage to her spinal cord. She underwent major spinal surgery last night, but still has no feeling in her legs. We all understand the large element of risk we take when we step on our bikes. But today has really brought those risks closer to home. It is important that we NEVER say NEVER and root for Tara, becuase she'll need it now, more than ever. If you want to send her an e-mail, please do so through her website; www.tarallanesracing.com

Tara. You are a jedi, don't ever forget that. My prayers, love and thoughts are with you, Polly and your Mum so much right now.

I love you dearly and I am not alone in saying that.


Saturday, September 01, 2007

Are you a RED NecK?

So, the end of season for my hard working boatie friends was marked on Saturday by a 'RADJ' Doo down at the lake. The annual DOO just gets more and more out of hand every year. Starting pretty early with a red neck wood chopping comp, the guys built a good ole fire. The wood took a while to light, so on went the petrol and up went the flames!! The locally reared hog roast was skewered up and the beast went on the spit just after 12. It was manned and turned painstakingly for 6 hours. The guys cracked the beers open at 4ish and skinned up in wetties for the lake jump, we nailed the ramp down and watched them regress to their BMX days, blasting out 540's, 720's, superman seat grabs and the works...as usual, it all had to get completely out of hand...they ended up launching over one of the hire boats.With the lake jump exhausted, the bangers were lined up in the car park. The trials bikes were ridden up and over the cars, and when that wore thin...the monster trucks were unleashed. It was unreal, Jared stabilised his launch line with logs and drove straight at the cars, he got stuck twice and the guys winched him off. Third time, he made it over, landed gingerly on the far right wheel inches away from tipping his truck. The bull bars at the front caught it and nudged it back over, thankfully!! I left just as they crowded round the scraped motors with fire extinguishers ready to blow them to smithereens! Organised chaos??! OMG!

Do you ever wake up in dripping in fear that you have morphed into a Red Neck?
Do you:
Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight?
Do you lay rubber when travelling in a funeral procession?
Tow another car using duck tape and your girlfriends tights?
Take beer to job interviews?
Buy bullets with food stamps?
Identify people on your property before shooting them?
Consider it tacky to take a cooler to church?
Vacuum the bed instead of changing the sheets?
Get your daily requirement of fibre from tooth pics?
Have a photo of you and your dog on your drivers licence?
Have more miles on your home than your truck?
Have a fork in your family tree?
Think the stock market is a place to buy hogs?
Hang a bag in the lake and drop cans into to be chilled?
Has your bike got a gun rack on it?
Think that 'lite beer' is called lite beer because it is ok to drink when it gets light?
Think that a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a 6 pack?
Have the local taxidermists number on speed dial?
Use a box of kitchen matches as a bathroom deodoriser?
Do you think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre?
Although you'll never admit it, everyone has a bit of Red Neck in them.....let it loose!! Don't succumb to the perils of the continuous monotonously dull Saturday night drag into town to a crappy bar/night club, packed to the gunnels with clones. Look outside the box a little. Go eat an eel or something......YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!