Are you a RED NecK?

So, the end of season for my hard working boatie friends was marked on Saturday by a 'RADJ' Doo down at the lake. The annual DOO just gets more and more out of hand every year. Starting pretty early with a red neck wood chopping comp, the guys built a good ole fire. The wood took a while to light, so on went the petrol and up went the flames!! The locally reared hog roast was skewered up and the beast went on the spit just after 12. It was manned and turned painstakingly for 6 hours. The guys cracked the beers open at 4ish and skinned up in wetties for the lake jump, we nailed the ramp down and watched them regress to their BMX days, blasting out 540's, 720's, superman seat grabs and the works...as usual, it all had to get completely out of hand...they ended up launching over one of the hire boats.With the lake jump exhausted, the bangers were lined up in the car park. The trials bikes were ridden up and over the cars, and when that wore thin...the monster trucks were unleashed. It was unreal, Jared stabilised his launch line with logs and drove straight at the cars, he got stuck twice and the guys winched him off. Third time, he made it over, landed gingerly on the far right wheel inches away from tipping his truck. The bull bars at the front caught it and nudged it back over, thankfully!! I left just as they crowded round the scraped motors with fire extinguishers ready to blow them to smithereens! Organised chaos??! OMG!

Do you ever wake up in dripping in fear that you have morphed into a Red Neck?

Do you:

Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight?

Do you lay rubber when travelling in a funeral procession?

Tow another car using duck tape and your girlfriends tights?

Take beer to job interviews?

Buy bullets with food stamps?

Identify people on your property before shooting them?

Consider it tacky to take a cooler to church?

Vacuum the bed instead of changing the sheets?

Get your daily requirement of fibre from tooth pics?

Have a photo of you and your dog on your drivers licence?

Have more miles on your home than your truck?

Have a fork in your family tree?

Think the stock market is a place to buy hogs?

Hang a bag in the lake and drop cans into to be chilled?

Has your bike got a gun rack on it?

Think that 'lite beer' is called lite beer because it is ok to drink when it gets light?

Think that a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a 6 pack?

Have the local taxidermists number on speed dial?

Use a box of kitchen matches as a bathroom deodoriser?

Do you think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre?

Although you'll never admit it, everyone has a bit of Red Neck in them.....let it loose!! Don't succumb to the perils of the continuous monotonously dull Saturday night drag into town to a crappy bar/night club, packed to the gunnels with clones. Look outside the box a little. Go eat an eel or something......YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!