Jaymie Mart - BARBADOS NATIONAL DOWNHILL TEAM - one of the most colourful and well loved athletes on the UCI Mountain Bike World Cup tour today.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

SGV Island life.

I landed here in SVG (St Vincent and the Grenadines) late on Saturday night after a long ass flight. I flew from Manchester to Barbados, 24 hours late as my first flight was cancelled. When I touched down in Barbados I jumped onto an island plane for a quick 35 minute flight west to the small islands of SVG in the West Indies (Caribbean). If you have seen the pirates of the Caribbean, you will have seen SVG, as it was shot on location here. The island is small, beautiful beaches, constant 28-32 degrees, and food to die for.

I was met from the plane by my two hunky cousins, Chester and Grant. They are like celebrities on the island, everyone, and I mean everyone knows who they are, Ches has his own T.V. show and Grant is one of the best Lawyers on the island. I had to fill in an emigration form before passing thru emigration, but I didn’t know the address of Chester’s place, so confused, n blonde, I just said, oh, I’m staying with my cousin. ’Who you cousin’ said the emigration officer, I told him, n he shouted across the room to his colleague..where ‘Chester stay now-a-dayz na?’ The address was fired straight back, my form completed and I was sent on my way! Bonza!

We cruised back to Chester’s place and within 30 mins of being on the island, we were overtaken by a total foot to the floor boy, 5 minutes later, we passed him again, car sideways, squashing another car against the wall, and police on site. Pile up!! Chester leans out of the window n shouts. ‘Officer, dat man, he been speeding all night lang, ha ha!!’ There is one road on the island, it goes up to the top n down to the bottom, no lines in the middle and millions of pot holes!! It is a total free for all! There are few rules and it is just wicked.

I just spent the last few days catching up with family. I have loads of family here, Grandparents, and uncle and aunt, great uncles and aunts and loads of fab cousins, hence my link to the Caribbean! So, on Sunday I rocked up at our family home to surprise my grandparents who I haven’t seen for 21 years!! Life on the islands is very colonial, and my grandparents, are the epitamy of the colonial islanders, native to the Caribbean, they sit down for high-T at 4 every afternoon and tune into BBC world service daily! It’s a simple life, with few complications, and they just love it!!

The food is just awesome, heads up nutritionists, this island life is clean n fresh, no 'ready mades', no convenience, no MSG, no ‘high in SFA labels’. Its all straight from the land. I’ve eaten fresh fish straight form the sea everyday, its day 3 and barracuda, red snappa, shark n shrimp have flown down da hatch so far! Fruit grows everywhere. Chester has a banana and coconut tree, lime and cherry trees in his garden. Grandma an Grandpa have a few including a mango, bread fruit and guava tree! They add loads of sugar to everything, and you are never far away from a bottle o rum, but hey, that ain't a bad thing?! I spent the night before last on my cousins friends yaught, sippin down da rum punch and watching the sun set! We watched it go right down n were lucky enough to see the green flash of the sun disappearing for the night. A rare sight!

Ok, so a download on the funny stuff. I learned that when I was 6, I went to church in my nightie and interrupted my Grandpas sermon, telling him to hush I because I was the lady bishop and it was my turn to talk...Can you imagine? In my nightie in front of a whole congregation! It is not uncommon for the door to the cockpit in the island planes to remain open!! They have just enforced a seat belt law, but the country-town taxi service consists of guys piled into the back of pick ups!!

Its early here, 8am. I’m off for a run before it gets too hot, then its off to the beach to test out my new snorkel stuff!! See how the reefs here compare to the Red Sea. Ola.

Friday, January 26, 2007

K kids...

The adventure has started. I signed the contract for my new job yesterday which doesn't start until the end of Feb....so..... at the mo, I'm in Manchester airport and I've been here ALL DAY waiting for my flight to Barbados, which was meant to depart at 11.15 this morning!! I got the cheapest flight in the world £179 return (which was spotted by the well trained eyes of Gregs Mama). Unfortunately tho, the nose wheel fell off our plane!!! BIG BUMMER!!

Apparently, they spent all day getting the cherubs already on the plane in Gatwick to chew enough chewing gum to be able to stick the nose wheel back on!!! A combi of running out of chewing gum AND the fact that the majority of the planes occupants are OAP's with denture problems, led to a shortage in the chewing gum production!! Needless to say, the wheel is still rolling around on the runway in Gatwick....and the plane has been grounded!

The bad news is I'm stuck here in Manchester, they have shoved us in a hotel for the night, fed us a buffet T and pushed me into no other than room 101...GREAT, YEA, THANKS FOR THAT!! I'll-ah remember not to fly with this airline again!!
The good news is, it has given me plenty of time to stock up factor squidgy-million x64 sun cream to prevent another bad case of sun burn. It also gave me time to hook with Hels Mortimer and Elke and have a cheeky bevoir and a bit of a catch up!!

Round two of the Mission to the motherland will commence tomorrow...same time, same place!! Wish me luck!!

Saturday, January 20, 2007

In da Schmoke!

I have lost my download cable for my camera…no surprise there, so haven’t been able to update for a wee while…anyway, last week, I had a bit of an adventure. I choo-chooed it down to Londonia for a job interview and pimped around for a few days village visiting, culture vulture-in it up and hanging out in my bro and future sister in-laws oober cosy new London town house which is yum!

On Thursday I cruised around the Embankment, soaked up Westminster Abbey and the Houses of Parliament. Threw a tomato onto Downing Street, blew a kiss at the stiffly cladded guards on horseback, chilled in Covent Garden, gazed at St Pauls Cathedral, admired the art in the Tate Modern and winked at Prince Phil outside the Palace!!

After my interview on Friday I hooked up with my brothers flat mate Ant and cruised round Covent Garden again. We met up with Miss K Rowsell for coffee and cake, she is still suffering from a problematic shoulder and killer cold, but as usual was on magic form since she got a pair of oven gloves and a scart cable from her Pa, Vere, for Christmas.! Good job!!

After a cruise down Portobello and a cheeky few Magners we sniffed out the bookshop from Nottinghill…spot the tourists!! Ant and I plodded back to the tube and managed to be convinced by Chicka Slim Joey, former fellow old skool deener-diva, surf club alumni and all round class act to bypass home and hang with her for a few in a cool wee bar in Sloan Square. Gowd knows how, but Jo and I set a toilet roll trap in the ladies and I ended up with a pair of glasses and a moustache drawn on my face in eyeliner, singing Summer of 69 with a German accent to the entire bar accompanied by the two guitarists who had performed earlier in the night. On Saturday, I woke with a sore head and kebab stuffed belly.

That afternoon, my stepsister Rach and her fiancé Pat popped round for high T!! I learned that spreadsheets make wedding planning easier and that there are wedding specific horoscopes in wedding magazines. OMG!!

On Saturday I headed over to Bristol for a few days with Sam the man, Mansfield. We frequented a bar called the Dukes, sat outside, had a good ole catch up, listened to some wicked live jazz and drank cider. We headed across town to check out a live hip hop night in a wee bar called cosies which was an awesome underground gaff littered with cool, chilled out funky Bristolites. On Sunday, we strolled in the SUNSHINE to a cool Moroccan café for brunch! The rest of the afternoon was spent laying down stupid tracks in Sams wee music lab!!

After a session at the driving range tonight with my flat mate, I decided it was time to quosh my kebeb addiction and attended a K.A meeting (Kebabs annonymous). Seriously, the hardest part is admitting you have a problem!! I think I am over my kebab fettish....for now!

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Day at the Dowgs!

Mush Mush...

6.00am my alarm went off this morning!! Far too early for me, but since we were heading over to the Wes-side to spectate in a round of the British Siberian Husky Racing Series I leaped out of my cozy warm bed and hopped straight into pack lunch prep.

As the sun rose over Fife, we approached Kinshandy Forest just outside of Leuchers near St Andrews. Multiple teams of dogs and owners were nestled deep in the forest, all prepared for a swift mornings racing. The dogs race in packs of 6, 4, 3, 2 or 1 and pull a rig with a driver. The rigs are crazy little numbers adapted for the job with a surprising amount of bits and bobs from mountain bikes (stems/forks/brakes).

I was stoked to see how well the dogs behaved and worked as a team in order to tow the rig round the various courses. I have never seen such an abundance of obedient dogs in one area. I have also never smelt such a pungent whiff!! The downfall of dog racing I guess!

Am off wid a few of ma pals on the the neighbours bams trikes, we-a skippin rope ta roond up some ferrel strays n-ave an urban dowg race. If yer up for it...meetchas at mine. 9pm...Game on!! Cheers Aldo for the splendid idea.

Mush mush....

Friday, January 05, 2007


Its the twelfth day of Christmas, look around you, it's pandemonium, the partridge has keeled over, fallen out of its tree and taking with it two random turtle doves. The french hens are still hiding from the pervy calling birds. The six geese have layed 5 gold rings (6 geese, 5 rings..mmm problem). The seven swans are swimming in circles away from the 8 maids who are milking the last drops of what ever they milk, sympathy probably!! The 9 ladies are dancing away from the 10 leaping lords...and, while all this is going on, the 12 Drummers have almost finished beating the watsits out of their drums...this folks is a sign....the festive period is wrapping itself up!!

So....this Christmas break I've eaten my body weight TWICE; attended more family days out and yummy meals than I have ever attended in my life; lost control of a mini bike bruising my shin from knee to ankle (actually, it was much worse, it was nearly put into traction and I nearly neede a skin graft....but they found a magic potion and now its fixed! I've been introduced to Still Game (amazing Scottish Comedy), experienced the maddest accommodation in Aviemore EVER; got told off for throwing snowballs 'indoors' (woooops)!! Mastered the hoola-hoop; learned that Christmas present shopping with a limit of £10/person makes you buy cooler more thoughtful, fun pressies; learned the hard way that low fat cream doesn't whip up well! Nearly split my sides at 2 of my friends home videos, one rein-acting a scene from Vietnam with the aid of a little camera trickery and two bags of offal from the butchers which were used to resemble war guts, and the other was of him and an old friend rolling a car off a home made ramp. I lost another 2 games of Bowling (gracefully); strolled alongside the homely beach waters of Aberdeen with Fronkie-bean wishing we'd brought our wetties and boards, then sat and reminisced over a few cheeky bottles of red in our old haunt (Cafe 52) whilst mauning the loss of another old stomping ground, Estaminet. That's right fellow Deeners...Estaminet is no more. Touch forelock!!
The new year kicked off at 6pm on New Years Day (after an extended recovery period) on the banks of the gently rippling Loch Morlich, overlooking the snow blanketed Cairngorms under a nearly full moon, just outside Aviemore. A good start I say!! I have just finished sorting out my 2007 schedule and writing up my training programme.

Happy New Year to one and all, 2007 is looking like it's gonna be the SHIZZEL...I can't wait.