Have you ever just randomly dedicated an entire 48 hours to staying indoors and poop to your hearts content?? No, thought not. Well, this weekend, I did JUST that! With winter training and the start of a very focused 8 months looming - I wanted to make sure that my insides were ready - so I ventured into a 'mild cleanse!
I went to the health food shop in search of 'Pysillium hust' a natural laxative - and rich source of fibre - perfect for a natural colon cleanse. On the way home something flew of the windscreen - which later turned out to be a parking ticket - woooops! I forgot to feed the darn machine with money again! I also bought some salt - grapefruit juice and olive oil so I could run a liver and gall bladder cleanse -and off home to solitary pooping confinement I went!
I was fasted for 24 hours so my body would get max benefits! At 4pm that afternoon - the colon cleanse started - within 45 minutes, my living room smelled like a cess pit - in a shake of a lambs tail, I was knee deep in a full scale dumb and dumber re inaction of the diarrhea scene. So with that all going on - I then ventured out into the liver and gall bladder detox - 6pm = consumption of a cup of salt water, same again at 8pm. At 9.45pm - I drank 1/2 a cup of olive oil and 1/2 a cup of grape fruit juice - and then sat back - literally, horizontal for 25 mins.
The next morning, I visited the bathroom to see the most absurd thing in the pan before me - time dark colored blobs in between light green pea shaped blobs, apparently, the dark ones are gall stones and the light green ones - cholesterol. OH MY. The shit trilogy was in full force.
I wouldn't recommend you try this at home - it was a mere experiment for me suggested by a few friends - I did do my own research, but probs best not to mirror my activities. My inquisition got one up on me again. Needless to say, a few days later - I feel light and fluffy again - the images of my insides will eventually disappear, I hope!
So - the next part of the 'shit trilogy' commenced as a discussion with friends at a charity Breast Cancer ball later that weekend - 'cue extreme gross out reactional faces'. Yup - it didn't go down well - to make matters worse - the partner of friend who was disturbed the most went on to bid on what we thought was two cows at the charity auction (in the village of course) - it turned out to be 2 TONNES of cow pat - now they have more poop than they know what to do with! Unlucky!!
Hop skip and cleansed gut jump. BO. X
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